Elk Grove - Home of the 'Semen Tree?'

March 17, 2015 In case you haven't noticed, over the last few weeks, Elk Grove is beginning to smell, well, rotten. Or at least tha...

March 17, 2015

In case you haven't noticed, over the last few weeks, Elk Grove is beginning to smell, well, rotten. Or at least that is what our very insensitive noses have been smelling.

The funky smell, which is not coming from City Hall for a change, is stinking up neighborhoods all over Elk Grove. Dendrologist Dr. Noreen Woodman, tells us a particular tree variety called the Bradford Pear, with their white blossoms now in full bloom, is producing the stench being smelled all over town. 

Guess where this Semen Tree is located in Elk Grove and win a 
prize. See bottom of this story for details. 
While developers love them, once they leave town, they don't have to deal with the after-effects. The fast growing trees have a life span of only 20 years or so, they do not set deep roots, are considered invasive, damage sidewalks and drains and are susceptible to heat collapse and storm damage. 

Although this has been the overwhelming tree for choice of tight-fisted developers who have built Elk Grove neighborhoods over the last 30 years, apparently they were quite a popular tree in New York City. 

Aside from these shortcomings, the Bradford Pear is frankly, a stinky tree when it blossoms. The online publication BusinessInsider.com, posted a story about the tree titled "Why All Of New York Smells Like Sex These Days" that described the tree in the following manner:

"These flowers, though lovely in appearance, smell like a mixture of rotting fish and semen, according to a variety of Web reports, and personal accounts from those in our own newsroom."

We couldn't agree more!

So as Elk Grove moves forward with its SEPA, Old Town, aquatics center, soccer stadium, senior center, veterans hall, animal shelter and any other plan our city council conjures up, we urge them to  make some changes to landscaping requirements and remove that stench from our neighborhoods. Take $10,000 or $15,000 you will blow on your next hair-brained feasibility study and update the master list of acceptable trees that developers can draw upon that was inherited from Sacramento County and has remained unchanged. 

Call for native, drought resistant trees, and please, for the sake of our noses, our sidewalks, and foundations, get rid of those smelly semen trees!   

The first person to give the correct location of the Semen Tree pictured above will win a $5 gift certificate to Elk Grove's very own Grace Coffee Roasters. Email your entries to news@elkgrovenews.net with "Tree contest" in the subject line. Entries will be accepted until 12 p.m. Sunday, March 21, 2015. No cash value.  



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7 comments

Capt. Benjamin L. Willard said...

Mr. Gougherty, I wasn't quite sure if you were pulling an early April Fools Day prank until I read the entire story.

I wonder what impact all these nuisance trees have on the health of people?

Anonymous said...

That's what happens when you plant these trees so close together--they fool around at night when no one is watching!

Henry Mancini said...

I wrote these words in 1965:

"They say there's a tree in the forest
A tree that will give you a sign
Come along with me to the Sweetheart Tree
Come and carve your name next to mine

They say if you kiss the right sweetheart
The one you've been waiting for
Big blossoms of white will burst into sight
And your love will be true evermore"

I'll be suing the city of Elk Grove for libel and slander as it has ruined any experience with big blossoms of white.

Henry Mancini

Anonymous said...

I know..i know....pick me! That tree is located right in the heart of our 100 acre soccer field land. I know that no soccer field will ever be built there so it may as well be a gather spot for sex trees. Something good might come of that land yet

Anonymous said...

I just heard that one of the HOA's here in EG had to have many of these trees removed due to their invasive nature.
Makes me wonder why the city even has those on their street tree list. That has to be very expensive for the HOA and that's not even considering the loss of several years growth and having to start over. ??maybe the city or developer will be paying for this bad call. Might be something you could follow up on Mr. Dan. Could be wrong, but I think it's that Del Webb/Pulte community......

Anonymous said...

Yes, it is that community. I do a short cut thru there after picking up my son from school and saw lots of trees had been removed from streets to the south of Del Webb Blvd. Had to do a loop around to see what had happened. Looks like a tornado had sweep down some of the streets. How sad for this tree hugger.....

Anonymous said...

While Mayor Davis has tried to rename us as "The Grove", it appears a more appropriate name would be "Semenville, USA".

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