Mr. Hume, You Have Three Minutes To Pack Up and Leave; Mother Nature Executes Eviction by Flood and Fury



By Sanders H. Crane, Esq. and S. Hillary Crane, Esq. | February 5, 2018 |

These days human interest distracts itself to our rodent cousin, Punxatawney Phil. Hardly an accurate barometer of the weather, he's an apt consultant to the soon to be extinct Dodo birds that lead the flightless body politic in ignorant defiance of global warming. Elk Grove's economy is encumbered by high housing and vehicle debt; that's why the Dodo's vision of high-end stores is but a retail delusion.

Sacramento County's Local Agency Formation Commission lead Dodo, Mr. Hume, is in it for the short-term gain. He can cash in bigly when LAFCo approves the scheme to expand the city's boundaries southward. Then he'll be free to migrate with the rest of the protodactyl, neo-capitalist tightwads to tax-free Nevada and Oregon.

We at Crane & Crane, LLC, don't appreciate the city's “grow or die” business plan; it's existential suicide. We have family values, too; our children live where the city has decided to intrude and establish its vagrant shops. It's unfortunate that conflicts of interest prevail in the campaigns of the elected Dodos; this political climate only serves to defile decisions in favor of land speculators.

Global warming will spoil all such plans. Coastal lands, estuaries, and deltas will be taken, flooded, and ruined. In 1862, an atmospheric river flooded the Central Valley from Redding to Modesto, creating a massive lake 20 miles wide, and 300 miles long. Meteorologists call this the ArkStorm, or Atmospheric River 1,000-year Storm. It's just that such storms aren't spaced by that many years anymore.

Crane & Crane, LLC, proposes that LAFCo prohibit building expansion into these lands, which should instead be set aside to allow water into the aquifer, space for flora and fauna, and a buffer to disastrous flooding. We move to higher ground when lower lands are covered in water. For our survival, we require the space the city has decided to develop into more tile rooftops and asphalt roadways.

Mr. Hume allows three minutes to express an opinion. We wonder just what he'd pack in that much time should The Big One hit Central California again.



Crane and Crane and their ancestors have been residents of the area now known as Elk Grove and unincorporated Sacramento County for millennia. 





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1 comment

D.J. Blutarsky said...

Mr.and Mrs. Crane, the Elk Grove breeding grounds are no different than the other areas of metropolitan Sacramento. The buildings here may be a little newer, but the game has been played the same way in this region for years.

Too many people make money off growth, while the silent majority sit and eat comfort food. Wanna get re-elected? Just promise better, higher-end comfort food, and shazaam, you're in!

This game ain't rocket science, and it damn sure isn't about saving some measly birds! Follow the money. And oh by the way, be sure to vote for the sales tax increase so we can get our "essential services"!

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