Guest Satire: Trump's deportation plan is environmentally friendly, reduce greenhouse gases
https://www.elkgrovenews.net/2024/12/guest-satire-trumps-deparotation-plan.html
By D. J. Blutarksy
Ed. note: This submission is satirical and not intended to inflict physical harm.
During the recent election campaign, readers will recall that President Biden referred to the MAGA supporters as "trash."
Trump then masterfully posed for a photo-op sitting inside a trash truck wearing a blazing orange safety vest over his shirt and tie. The orange safety vest then became a symbolic clothing item worn by many supporters during the ensuing Trump rallies, including Trump himself, because, as he noted, it made him look slimmer!
Well, word on the street is that Trump and his incoming border czar, Tom Homan, will be purchasing 300,000 electric trash trucks to assist in the mass deportation of "illegal aliens" across the country. While details of the deportation plan have not yet been made public, sources from inside the incoming Cabinet have revealed a very elaborate strategy to remove the "poison of our country."
First, Elon Musk is expected to form a shell corporation and name it Trump Disposal Co. and purchase approximately 300,000 electric trash trucks and paint them red, white, and blue, with distinct round smiling Trump logos on the doors. When asked how they will purchase such a large order of trucks, our source indicated that Musk will procure the trucks from China and seek a tariff waiver, and Tesla will provide the batteries for the trucks.
The trucks will be custom-ordered and reportedly equipped with hydraulic "people scoopers" mounted to the front. The trucks will roam the streets and scoop'em up in one swift motion. The trash trucks will also be outfitted with off-road "knobby" tires for extra traction on the soft farm fields. The Teamsters will be providing the drivers and my understanding is the drivers will be trained in 'offensive' driving techniques, rather than the more commonly taught defensive driving skills.
When asked what will happen next, our sources indicate that the trash trucks will discreetly transport their haul to the nearest landfill, where detention camps will be constructed to house the illegals until they can be extricated out of the country.
Well, word on the street is that Trump and his incoming border czar, Tom Homan, will be purchasing 300,000 electric trash trucks to assist in the mass deportation of "illegal aliens" across the country. While details of the deportation plan have not yet been made public, sources from inside the incoming Cabinet have revealed a very elaborate strategy to remove the "poison of our country."
First, Elon Musk is expected to form a shell corporation and name it Trump Disposal Co. and purchase approximately 300,000 electric trash trucks and paint them red, white, and blue, with distinct round smiling Trump logos on the doors. When asked how they will purchase such a large order of trucks, our source indicated that Musk will procure the trucks from China and seek a tariff waiver, and Tesla will provide the batteries for the trucks.
The trucks will be custom-ordered and reportedly equipped with hydraulic "people scoopers" mounted to the front. The trucks will roam the streets and scoop'em up in one swift motion. The trash trucks will also be outfitted with off-road "knobby" tires for extra traction on the soft farm fields. The Teamsters will be providing the drivers and my understanding is the drivers will be trained in 'offensive' driving techniques, rather than the more commonly taught defensive driving skills.
When asked what will happen next, our sources indicate that the trash trucks will discreetly transport their haul to the nearest landfill, where detention camps will be constructed to house the illegals until they can be extricated out of the country.
I was shown a preliminary blueprint for the camps and was told it was based on the original plans for Stalag 13 of the Hogan's Heroes television series. Trump is reportedly going to use his general contractors he relies on for his other real estate projects, and I'm told he will issue thousands of permanent work visas in lieu of pay.
So there you have it. Trump wants to be known as the environmental President and at the same time, help with the trash disposal crisis in our country.
So there you have it. Trump wants to be known as the environmental President and at the same time, help with the trash disposal crisis in our country.
Good Luck!
Photo by RDNE Stock project via Pexels
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Photo by RDNE Stock project via Pexels
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