Elk Grove News Minute Mid-Week Edition - Maybe former Elk Grove Mayor Gary Davis was on to something



Last week an Elk Grove resident broke her leg in five places after she, unfortunately, tumbled down the new hill at the newly opened District 56’s Preserve playground.

We wish her a speedy recovery.

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D.J. Blutarsky said...

Before City Attorney Hobbs cuts that settlement check for the woman who broke her leg, I think he ought to investigate the theory that there was a second woman on the Grassy Knoll!

Witnesses say that they recall seeing a perfectly healthy woman (W1) standing atop the Grassy Knoll the exact moment a woman with a broken leg (W2) appeared at the bottom of the Grassy Knoll.

At 3:23 PM, witnesses heard W2 phone W1 and told her to slide down the Grassy Knoll and "make it look it good". Witnesses recalled that they thought it odd that W2 would be waving her crutch in the air with jubilation when W1 slid down the Grassy Knoll, looking like Buster Posey sliding into home base.

At 3:24 PM, witnesses claim that W2 hobbled over to W1 and gave her a high five, much like a proud parent would give their child who just scored the winning goal in a weekend soccer match.

At 3:25 PM, witnesses claim that they overheard W2 call the KCRA News tip line to report a broken leg at the Grassy Knoll. W2 then handed W1 a $20 bill and they both went their separate ways. W1 hopped on a moped parked at the westerly parking lot, and W2 placed her crutches in the trunk of her Mercedes, limped back to the Grassy Knoll and waited for the KCRA news team to arrive.

By now, a small crowd had gathered at the base of the Grassy Knoll with anticipation of a big news event. At 4:15 PM, the KCRA news van barreled across the westerly parking lot with 4-way flashers blinking furiously, jumped the curb, and came to a screeching halt on the slippery astro turf at the base of the Grassy Knoll.

Gulstan Dart tumbled out of the KCRA news van, saw W2 lying on the ground writhing in pain, and he immediately called for the KCRA helicopter to fly to the scene, and called the control room and said he had a scoop for the evening broadcast and to cut in live.

Witnesses say that W2 kept the news team there until 6:30 PM and was last seen heading east on Elk Grove Blvd in a black Mercedes coupe. A sole witness claims that W2 was then seen about an hour later in an older neighborhood east of Highway 99 looking at various cracks in the sidewalks and taking notes of the bigger ones.

Until this second woman theory at the Grassy Knoll is thoroughly investigated, I hope the City Council does not alter or modify the Grassy Knoll, because it is now a potential crime scene!




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